Sue Richards, regular Canadian gal, heats up as her reproductive Best Before Date expires.
Wednesday, 2 November 2005
So you’ve been hit broadside by a speeding menopause bullet train to hell and you’re up to your eyeballs with symptoms that make whacking yourself over the head with a 2×4 seem like a fun idea.
What now?
Alas, there is no special treatment for you my friend. You get BIG symptoms, but no quick fix.
And….yes there’s more…. you also get to face the emotional trauma of losing your fertility during your child bearing years.
Please put down the 2×4.
Again, this is not my story. I’m a lucky peri-menopausal duck. But this maybe the story of someone you know and love. Or perhaps you live this reality. Whatever the case, you have my compassion and a suggestion. Here’s what I’ve read.
Get ye into a support group. Likely the group will be focused on the primary health issue that lead to the treatment that resulted in sudden menopause. And the group may be connected to the medical institution that you use. Or, and this is very likely, you may have to spearhead your own support group. It will be important to make sure the group is age specific to you.
Some west coast women I know started a group called “The Young and the Breastless” after finding no solace in typical breast cancer support groups. They wanted to talk about sex, fertility, dating, relationship issues and being young moms and could not relate to older breast cancer survivors. Typically the the Y and B’s are under 40.
This would be an example of, if you build it, they will come.
If you can afford it, a private therapist may be your thing and the perfect touch stone as you wind your way through sudden menopause.
Depending on your family dynamics, sitting down with family members and giving them the low down may help. Know that grieving a loss like fertility will take time and happen in stages. Having daily, unconditional support during your grieving process is wise.
And finally, as with every part of life, your approach and attitude will effect the outcome of your experience. I do not suggest that you stick an artificial smile on your face when quite the opposite feels more authentic. Try to be aware and true to your experience.
Be kind to yourself.
Sue Richards
November 14th, 2005 at 5:15 pm
As you point out, support groups may ‘offer no solace’ and should be chosen carefully. No matter the problem, support groups can be a two edged sword, they may support genuinely or they may dwell on things that you may wish to move on from.
It is important that you constantly evaluate what the support group is doing for you.
Michael and Liberty
June 29th, 2006 at 1:58 pm
I was thrown head first into surgical menopause .
I had a hysterectomy due to a second bout of ovarian cancer.
Hot flashes, sweats, no sleeping, chills, palpatations
wanting to scream at unsuspecting people on the bus…
I am not able to take any hormone treatments.
I don’t recognize my body anymore. It has a life of it’s own.
I’ve tried acupuncture, herbs, anti-depressants, heart medications,
yoga and the gym. And it feels like I am losing the battle and the war.
Somebody also needs to develop a line of clothes that can wick the
sweat away. Maybe call it Flash Couture…
I am at my wits end.
It’s very annoying !
b
June 29th, 2006 at 4:34 pm
Hi Beth,
You have a minimum of two massive life challenges in your lap. And you are trying different approaches to help find balance which is a great sign. Perhaps a support group will help.
I’m afraid there’s no quick fix.
If you’re remotely entreprenurial…..start Flash Couture. That is a great (and funny) idea.
Sue
June 30th, 2006 at 4:16 pm
I wish I knew how to sew. I am extremely creative but I would need someone to
actually execute my ideas. I cannot be trusted with a needle and thread.
I spoke with my Oncologist the other day and she is constantly
looking for answers to help with menopause. There isn’t a lot
of help out there for the menopause -challenged woman.
But erectal dysfunction !!! I get 900 e-mails a day !!