My Menopause Blog

My order fax just went through for one, count em, one saliva test.

The cost threw me off at first. One Hundred and five dollars in Canuck Bucks, including shipping seemed out of my range. But then a funny thing happened. My Hot Flash dial got turned up several notches and I turned into a blazing furnace.

Take Saturday for instance.

I ran the Information Table at the 25th Organic Agriculture Conference. Normally a freezing affair, this year, I darn near melted. I was soaked more than once. Red in the face several times. Flashing my stomach brought some relief as I fanned myself with my untucked shirt. But mostly, I cooked in my own juices.

How organic is that!!

Sunday was no different. I was exhausted from all the effort required to simply keep cool and sane. Today, I fished out the Saliva Test form and put these wheels in motion.

I’m also thinking of buying a fire extinguisher. Just a small one. Something I can slip in my pocket and use for the real spine burners.

Sue Richards

P.S. Buy the same Saliva Hormone Test as I did here.

Tags: My Menopause Blog, Sue Richards, saliva test, hot flash.

Me thinks we’ve got it all wrong.

For some reason, women of a certain age are told that we are about to go through The Change implying that the change comes on the heels of a period of non-change.

Buying this bucket of bunk makes no sense. Change is and always will be constant.

When I met my new wee 7 pound 7 ounce neighbour, and compared our finger size, I could not help but think of the massive change before her. Heck, let’s even consider the massive change she’s just gone through. The gal was sperm and egg a mere 9 months ago. Up until Friday, she was inside her mom.

In reality, the new kid on my block is already growing up. Put another way. She is aging, just like me.

Children change daily. I have a door frame where my stepchildren were measured on a monthly basis, marks creeping up the wall to prove their growth. Teenagers sprout hair, new shapes and different pitched voices. Once into our twenties, our independence and social changes are mind blowing. Perhaps our thirties are the decade of least physical change. Most body parts work and energy remains constant, but attitudes shift and needs and wants reform from early, less mature ideals. Then the forties roll in. Energy levels shift again , hair greys, eye sight weakens, joints stiffen, memory gets dodgy, fat accumulates.

A life time of change is behind us, yet, we’re told, that ‘The Change’ is before us.

So what the hell did I just live through? And who is trying to make the future seem ominously different?

Sue Richards

Tags: My Menopause Blog, Sue Richards, The Change, aging.

At 8:01am this morning, a baby girl was born on my street, right next door to my house. A few hours later, Poppa and BIG sister were sitting outside in the warm January sun. Momma and babe, tucked together, asleep upstairs. The midwives have gone, pleased to have been involved in an easy birth.

I tied pink ribbon round the ole Maple tree out front.

Everyone is excited.

Sue Richards

Tags: My Menopause Blog, Sue Richards.

In 1970, the funky Dalamation print that you see was but a dream. Said chair was covered in a dense avocado green poly-toxic material.

For contrasts sake and to bring some tangible evidence to my previously mention love of orange, I keep my chair in my dining room which is painted the colour Pumpkin.

Orange is the colour of creativity and safety. I find this juxtaposition comforting. It takes courage to be creative. How handy that the very colour I most delight in will also help protect me.

My kitchen chair has seen me through my entire reproductive cycle. Although slightly frayed and discoloured, it is as reliable and comfortable now as it first was thirty six years ago.

Same as me.

Sue Richards

Tags: My Menopause Blog, Sue Richards, reproductive cycle, orange.

So you know and can prepare yourself for one of my personal favorite days of the year, tomorrow, January 26th, is Orangeness Day.

The colour. Not the fruit or the funny religious connotation.

Orangeness Day was invented by me, with an assist going to a newspaper guy I love reading. Scott Tracey has a knack with the English language that few can claim. He works in my town, writing for our local rag.

You do not need to get permission to make up dates if you publish a calendar. It’s one of the perks of the job. All you have to do is simply publish the date and voila, everyone who owns your calendar knows to celebrate.

Clever eh??

Good way to plant cheery thoughts and fun activities throughout the year. Then, slowly but surely, take over the WWW, followed by the world, then the universe…just by directing peoples thoughts with a calendar!!! (Not so evil laugh).

Right then.

You may have noticed that I lean towards self-authority in many areas of my life…not to mention grand delusions. I’ve never been one to get permission. Too much red tape, people saying no because they’re boring…stuff like that. Besides, who would you ask about something like a day that celebrates my favorite bright warm colour, in the dead of winter.

Me: Hello, is this the office of Making Up Dates For Nice Colours.

As you can see already, this will go nowhere. Especially if you don’t believe orange to be nice.

So, Orangeness Day gives you the option of Overt Orangeness…top to bottom draping. Internal Orangeness….warm thoughts. Cheerful Orangeness…a sunny disposition. Cosmic Orangeness….glowing from within. Orangeitarian Orangeness….orange food for a day.

Pick one, none or all. Have fun, be fun or be glum. Decide for yourself. Be your own authority. You’re menopausal.

Sue Richards

The Breast Views Headline: Breasted Canadian Politcian

Tags: My Menopause Blog, Sue Richards. Orangeness Day, authority, fun.

Last nights dream went something like this.

I’m in India about to attend a course on Geography. Before checking into my hotel/room I find the class room and get a visual of the male teacher who happens to be my grade 11 highschool geography teacher.

I sit on a bench, outside the school/room, in the heat and sun. Lush plants surround me. I’m aware that I am doing this course, not to learn about geography, but to get away from my old geography of life in my city and from my relationships that are stuck.

Suddenly, I get itchy and notice a rash spreading rather rapidly across my arm. I immediately go to a clinic, where two women calmly, yet firmly get me to lie down on a bed. They are clearly concerned as they lift my shirt to find a thick, red rash spreading across my chest. Then I start to puff up like a balloon. One woman goes and gets two very large clamps like a monster plumber would use, and clamps both of my legs off at the hip, before the rash and swelling spreads in that direction.

The other woman starts spraying my body with a fire extinguisher. I’m talking a mile a minute. Telling them my next of kin, my regrets, messages that need to be given to loved ones, where my luggage is. I feel certain I am dying.

Suddenly, the Geography teacher appears in the clinic.

I take one of the clamps off my leg and throw it at him to get his attention. In my mind, he will save me.

I wake up as he turns around.

Sue Richards

PS: Are there any dream people out there?

Tags: My Menopause Blog, Sue Richards, dream.

Menopause is often referred to as the winter of a woman’s life.

Sue Richards

Tags: My Menopause Blog, Sue Richards, Photo.

On Monday, Canadians go to the polls.

At least, Canadians could go to the polls. Yet for many reasons, only 60% of Canadians go…the other 40% don’t bother.

If you fall into the 40% category, please jump ship and join the 60% tribe. If you feel your voice is not heard due to our stupid, ‘first past the post’ system of counting ballots, you have two party choices as far as I can see. Both the Green Party and the NDP claim that they will work toward getting ‘proportional representation’ in place. This alone would be a very big improvement for folks that see the world as a buffet of differences and believe in a triple bottom line rather than a cut and dry view of right and wrong underlined with the belief that money is everything.

If you are tired of the three national parties and their talking heads, then a vote for the Green Party will elevate their numbers above the ‘leader can be invited to televised debates’ cut off mark and at least improve the dialogue for the ‘next’ election.

So there. Two reasons to go mark your ballot.

Please.

Pretty please.

Sue Richards

Tags: My Menopause Blog, Sue Richards, Canada,NDP, Green Party, proportional representation