My Menopause Blog

Peri-menopause has exposed my hidden introvert and revealed the extroverted me to be somewhat of a fraud. I suspect some inner wisdom knew to use the power of my youth to be bold, brave and brash despite the stressed out, knotted up feelings that came with that behaviour. But as fists full of my hair drop like fall leaves and my memory bank declares a zero balance, the idea of stepping on a stage and entertaining an audience for an evening is about as appealing as having incontinence on a school bus with no washroom.

But step on a stage I will.

This Friday night I officially launch the breast health calendar that I publish. Many people have come together to help, from doormen to swag seller, auctioneer to art maker. The local paper has written a flattering story. Bloggers have helped spread the word. And folks from far and wide claim to be coming.

It’s a dream event really. I’ve booked a nice venue, my peeps are attending, it’s my town and releasing a project that truly moves my soul is a day for celebration. But…..

My ability to handle stress has changed the last couple of years. Public speaking has always topped my list of things I’d prefer not to do yet I’ve done it often and well. In my business as self-employed artist, extroverting means eating. But that does not mean I’m an extrovert.

The fact is most artists are introverts. I get my energy from solitude, creating and exploring ideas. Coincidentally, menopause is a time of introspection for many women. For an introvert like me who’s been getting by playing extrovert, menopause offers a chance to relax and be more authentic. This has been an energy saving luxury that I love to indulge in.

Switching back to the stage-taking extrovert from the newly exposed introvert appears to be tricky business. I’m meeting resistance from within myself. My quiet introvert is demanding to be heard. I’m making deals with my inner self. “Just one more time”, I promise not knowing if this is true.

Then there’s my ability to manage the new meno-stresses that come with hormone fluctuation. Memory issues come and go with no notice. Large swaths of my recall have been borrowed and not returned. Names have vanished. Dates melted. Good reasons dissolved. I cannot count on my brain to remember everything in general or anything in specific.

I find this very stressful.

My meno friends all say the same thing. Remembering is a thing of the past Sue. To this I say, surely to gawd, peri-merry women can still be upfront, on-stage and confident in what they know!

As Friday looms, every stress management/menopause/introvert book I own has been perused. Breath deeply, drink water, get grounded, imagine everyone naked, sit down, make notes, smile, pretend and delegate pretty much top the lists of things to remember.

Remember?

Now that’s really helpful.

Sue Richards

PS: In an effort to reduce my obligations for the next few days, I’m taking a meno-blog break. I’ll be back on Monday. By all means, wander over to Blog Guelph for a tour of my town.
Tags: My Menopause Blog, my menopause blog,Breast of Canada,Sue Richards, peri-menopausal, breast cancer awareness month, menopause relief, extrovert, information on menopause,menopause symptom, memory, wisdom, womens health news, forgetful, introvert .